Week 3: WIPs

Three weeks into my resolve, that is.

Not a terribly successful week. I fully intended to finish my to-do list this weekend, but Saturday got eaten with errands. Today, an unexpected and delightful visit from the BFF and her family.

When they left, we opted to indulge in a little Gregoire for dinner. Gregoire. Just thinking about Gregoire makes my heart weep at the thought of ever leaving the Bay Area. G came out of Alice Waters' California Cuisine movement.... he runs an unbelievable little restaurant a few doors down from the famous Chez Panisse in Berkeley's gourmet ghetto. It's just a tiny little place offering a monthly menu of the most weak in the knees takeout... We had the cheese risotto cake with creamy spinach, a romaine salad and split pea soup. Naturally we also had the famous potato puffs, because anyone who claims they can enter Gregoire without having the potato puffs is a liar.

We took it home to enjoy with a nice champagne.

Anyway that pretty much took care of Sunday... and I didn't get the work done I had hoped to.


Knitting

I finished one WIP: Longies for Jackson in Western Sky Knits' Rivendell Colorway on Bulky BFL. I actually knitted most of these when poor little J was sick before Christmas. But they came out waaaay big on him (stupid lazy kim didn't do a gauge swatch and I didn't realize just how bulky the bulky BFL was. These are giant and will probably be roomy next winter. So anyway... I didnt finish them at the time. They just needed some cuffs and a drawstring, so it went fast.

Pictures tomorrow.

The Cole longies that were on the schedule got nixed. I started on them, then just had to accept that they were going to be too small and own my defeat. These were my first attempt at a linen stitch and holy cow it kicked my butt. Talk about slow knitting. I started them back in September, frogged them at least six times and struggled with the crotch gusset until my brain exploded.

I can program up a regression adjusted conditional difference-in-difference local linear propensity matching model but I'll never wrap my brain around a gusseted linen stitch.

Anyway... it felt very freeing to abandon this project, rip it out, re skein the yarn and just be done with it.

Instead, I bumped the My So Called Scarf Project up and tried to finish it. It isnt quite done, I need another night I think.


Schooling

Dissertation wise... not a lot accomplished this week. I got a few rounds of editing done on the first two sections, read them aloud to J while he played with Thomas the Tank Engine, and successfully transferred all my files to the new computer. But I did not finish what I thought I would. Hopefully tomorrow - Im so exhausted.

Week 2, Day 5: A new tool

I decided finally to make an investment in this dissertation effort and replace the laptop that died. Sarah Palin destroyed my laptop back when she did the disastrous Katie Couric interview. In the middle of watching it online, a strange metallic sound came out of my computer and it went dead. That was many months ago. I have been limping along on a POS backup laptop we bought on ebay three years ago. It doesnt hold an internet connection for longer than five minutes, takes anywhere from 3 to 10 attempts to power up and frequently needs rebooting.

I love my new Mac. It feels so good to get it set up the way I like it, get all my tools there, put my files where I want them... the backup computer wasnt even big enough to store all my files on the hard drive!

Week 2, Day 1: WIP week

Week 1 went very well as Tidepool (Gaia Organic Merino Bulky dyed by Heather of Western Sky Knits) went from this:



To this:



I did get the penultimate round of editing done on the paper sections. I need to leave it now for a day or two and return to it before working further.

I feel that week one was a success... Jackson is wearing these right now paired with a Positively Posh shirt created by Kyna.



Week two is a WIP finishing week, and the final week to edit sections 1-3.1 of Paper 1. Im excited to finally get this to my prof. It should have been finished weeks ago, but J has been sick for 3 of the past 6 weeks and I have been sick for 1 week as well. So it was kind of rough.

Knitting wise... actually there were two WIPs slated for finishing this week... first is Rivendell which actually got finished last night. All they needed was a cuff, ends woven in and an i-cord. They are blocking right now and Ill upload photos later this week

Also the ill fated linen stitch longies in Cole were slated for finishing this week. I started these back in September, and frogged them at least six times. After pulling my hair out for weeks, I finally found peace with the gusset and put them aside. Today I pulled them out again and decided after all that, they are going to be too small in the hips. They would have been tights on Jackson! I frogged them. All that pain and I frogged them. But I feel good about it and feel freed from the burden of seeing them in my knitting basket teasing me constantly.

Since the fabulous Kyna already made Jackson the most beautiful shirt to go with this yarn, this week will be devoted to reknitting them (NOT linen stitch thank you very much).

Week 1, Day 4: Tidepool Longies 75% complete

Woot!

So far so good. The tidepool longies were cast on at the beginning of the week... I was tired and totally wanted to go to bed, but I pressed on and finished the right leg tonight. Tomorrow should be plenty of time for the left leg and cuffs!

Woot!

These are looking so beautiful... who doesn't love a little Western Sky Knits!

Other knitting related news - tomorrow Im hoping for a lovely big old package from elliebelly with my much anticipated retro kitchen, the incredible guppy creek, and some nice avalon merino that is destined for Monica's baby kimono. Maybe if Im really lucky some Foxes in the mail tomorrow too!

I also ordered the cashmere for baby Helen's Little Boy Blue in Pink... and added on a few extra skeins of cashmerino to squirrel away for myself. hehehe

Oh right... I also bought some Nurturing Threads plus trim tonight. Bad. I know. I need to stop

Dissertation wise... I did get get to the homestretch editing these fist parts of the paper.

It starts

This blog is going to be dedicated to moving forward in all aspects of my life that have stalled out.

I want to move forward on my dissertation
I want to move forward on being a mom
I even want to move forward on my knitting ... I have a bad habit of buying a ton of yarn, starting projects and then getting distracted when a pretty new yarn comes in the mail.

I want to finish this dissertation, I want to get my degree. I also want to finish knitting through my projects and yarn stash. I know that sounds really silly and insignificant, but it's not. Its a hobby, a creative outlet, a source of relaxation. Committing to finishing my dissertation is important for sure, but committing to make the time to finish the creative projects that are just for my own relaxation and enjoyment is also important.

So I am setting some goals and will use this blog to document my progress...

Here are the rules:

• I will focus each day on my dissertation and strive for forward progress. I wont always have much time for this, but at least a little. I wont always be able to make forward progress either...


• I will complete one knitting project per week (or not move on before finishing this one)
  
• I will alternate between finishing WIPs and starting new projects... and I must finish 2 WIPs before starting a new project.

So let it begin!

Here is my tentative knitting Queue:

Week 1: Tidepool longies
Week 2: Cole Longies (WIP) and Rivendell longies (WIP)
Week 3: Josh's scarf
Week 4: Copper Patina Shrug (WIP)
Week 5: My So Called Scarf (WIP)
Week 6: Retro Kitchen
Week 7: Kippahs (4 total)
Week 8: Guppy Creek
Week 9: Little Boy Blue in Pink
Week 10: SSMS kimono for Monica
Week 11: Scrappies
Week 12: Mountain Tale (linen?)
Week 13: Foxes Sweater (need natural cestari for trim)
Week 14-16: Clapotis in Florida

I can not plan out 14 weeks ahead on the dissertation... Ill have to take that a few weeks at a time

Week 1: Edit Sections 1-3.1 of Paper 1
Week 2: Finish editing sections 1-3.1 of Paper 1, finalize outline for sections 3.2-3.3 - send to prof
Week 3: Finalize committee members, continue on analytics for Paper 2, draft abstract for SF conference
Week 4:

What just happened?

The past year and a half seem to have been a dream to me.

Most of the time, my life seems unrecognizable.

I was a driven, career oriented graduate student. I had a baby. My head begins spinning. I turn around and suddenly I am the mother of a toddler struggling to regain my footing.

2008 was a bit rough. I struggled a lot trying to make peace with this new life. To find a new balance, to find new energy and new motivation. It's not easy, being a mom... but it is quite wonderful. The way he laughs, the way he breaks into hysterics at the sound of a piggy snorting.

I love spending time with him, teaching him and showing him the world. And yet 'me' is still in my head pulling me toward some kind of career I might have been able to define once. I know I need to pursue my career... I know I need to continue on and finish my degree. I am not 100% sure why anymore, but I still feel it's the right thing. So I press on.

Of course, it's not that easy... everything is infinitely more complicated. To get even a half day of work in, there is a chaotic hour and a half of getting the baby up, fed, dressed, lunch packed, diaper bag packed, milk filled, binky packed, blankie packed... ready to go for the day. Juggle diaper bag, computer bag, blankie, lunch, stroller, cell phone, keys etc... all down to the car for the hour and a half long ride up to school. Do battle with the toddler who clings to your legs begging you not to go as you drop them off at daycare - knife in the heart. By the time I sit down at my desk I am absolutely exhausted. I sprint around cramming work into the precious few hours I have before I have to be back for him... And this is the easy time, after I have finally gotten the daycare squared away (find one with availability, in our price range, available on the days I need, solid references, nice rapport). Each week you pray he doesnt get sick so that you dont have to just completely abandon work for the week.

The obstacles are so much bigger than they have ever been. I though I used to do a lot in every day, but never in my life have I ever run this ragged. The only problem is that only a fraction of my effort and energy makes its way to my poor dissertation. On top of that, I am competing with people without such complicated lives. I have never worked so hard and achieved so little.

Then there is the mommy guilt. Am I nurturing him? Am I giving him the love and attention he needs? or am I scarring him by not playing with him while I try to work at home? Is this worth missing his toddler years? Am I sacrificing a tight bond with him? What is it I want out of life anyway? What is more important than my family?

I guess it would be easier if I had a clear idea of where this was going, what i wanted to get out of this.








Anyway... I need to get out of this funk. I love Jackson, and I will not be able to be as effective at school as I once was. But I can make slow and steady progress and I will finish. I need to move forward.