Mama, PhD all around us

After reading and loving the book Mama PhD and sending it as a gift to at least one fellow mama to be... I have been doing a ton of reflecting on my own experience having a baby during the dissertation/fieldwork process - how INSANE it was to bring an infant to the rural -most rural- parts of China, and the toll it took on me last year.

I've also taken the time to approach some of my friends who have had/ are having babies in grad school/post docs to ask them about their experiences. What I found out was shocking. Absolutely shocking. One of my friends stunned me with her story and I discovered that it was her experience having a baby in the middle of her first year of grad school that shaped her family's decision about how many children to have - rather than her and her husband's desires. We talked also about how hard it is on a marriage to have a child in grad school... all of it really shocked me.

I dont know why these stories that I have been hearing from women I have known for so long have been shocking to me... I guess we just dont talk about our struggles enough. I guess I just thought that everyone else was getting on just fine and I was the only one struggling to find the balance.

Anyway, it got me thinking that there should be somewhere where Mama, PhDs can write down their thoughts and experiences. Some of the contributors to the book keep a blog that I now follow and read with great interest, but I wish there were somewhere people could put down their stories and lessons learned.

Progress report:

Dissertation actually making progress lately (woo hoo!) I've gone back to writing paper #1 and am closing in on a draft and have also had some forward motion on the empirical part of paper #2. I also nailed down the final committee member (yay!) so I now have the dissertation committee I really wanted.

I committed to work next quarter as a TA for one of the first year grad students' core classes again. I did this in the Fall and it was REALLY challenging but also REALLY rewarding. I enjoyed being a friend and a helper to the incoming students and helping them (at least a tiny bit) through that impossible first year. Now I am really glad to be returning to the course for the final quarter and helping them through the end of their first year. They will be taking a qualifying exam at the end of the quarter on all of this material, so I am already really nervous for them. I'm thinking of allocating some of my precious time to a study group outside our normal recitations - a time in which we can do practice problems.

This will surely slow my already sluggish dissertation progress, but teaching is also an important skill and I really found the experience of TAing for a PhD level course (as opposed to undergrad courses) quite rewarding.

The fun stuff:

I haven't had much time to knit recently b/c of the end of the quarter grading. bummer. But here is a picture of another SMSS Seamless Infant Kimono done in a teeny tiny preemie size. The photo features both, so you can compare it to the last one I did a few weeks ago (the bigger one went to a Mama, PhD-to-be this past weekend at a baby shower ... I think she was really moved that I took the time to knit for her). I am keeping this tiny little sweater and tucking it away in my secret place where I harbor my dreams of another baby (?!)



and in mothering news, Jackson signed 'I love you' the other day after we had a nice cuddle. swoon. And he is now saying please and thank you on his own... making his mama so so proud ♥