Mama, PhD

This blog is called Forward, Kim-san becasue I have felt like I have been spinning my wheels for so long trying desperately to make 'The Whole Person' work. The whole person being a mommy, a graduate student, and at the same time, a creative individual.

I have been taking it week by week, trying to make time for both dissertation work and creative pursuits in between the full time job of being a mom and my job as a grad student (the part that pays the bills while I dissertate in spare time).

This weekend has been particularly enlightening for me. For some reason, at the end of last week I was feeling quite demoralized (hence the kicking my ass post). Maybe it was because it was the end of the semester and kind of a marathon of grading left me almost no energy for anything else. Then I went to an all day conference yesterday which was wonderful, lots of discussion on my particular area of research, lots of insight, lots of connections made, lots of motivation. I spoke to a former professor of mine, one of only two women profs I have ever known that have children and tenure track jobs. I talked to her about taking J to do fieldwork, the stories we have about the logistics of breast feeding/pumping in the field or on the job. That made me feel great and made me want to start a support group for academic moms in the area.... I think we would all benefit from knowing each other and sharing our stories and just morally support each other.

This morning I have devoted the whole morning to reading the first half of Mama, PhD. I have cried four times so far. So much of this book is cutting right to the heart of my struggles since J was conceived. In some respects, my advisers and profs have been more than accommodating and helpful. Others have not (ironically it was a woman prof who was the least supportive). But really there is only so much they can do within a larger framework that is just not set up for moms in academia. I guess it's just comforting to know that others have done this and to know what their experiences have been...