More Perspective

If I wasn't already well on my way out of last years funk between this blog and the onset of Spring and the astute observation of the book reviewer mentioned in my last post .... yesterday just put it all to rest. I am really terrible at articulating my thoughts, but I will try for nobody's sake.

I saw the business end of baby being born yesterday.

It was without a doubt the most amazing and magical thing I have ever seen. Granted I have birthed a baby myself, but something about witnessing this wonder as a fly on the wall, with no job to do other than to witness, allowed the enormity of the event to just wash over me. I was so stunned by the beauty of it... I sat in my car and tried to think of anything else that could instill such a sense of awe - and I thought for sure the only comparable experience must be the witnessing of the first sunrise or the first time a polar explorer saw an aurora or something. It was that incredible to me.

Maybe I'm being overly dramatic... I mean babies are born constantly all over the world. But that commonplaceness (prolly not a word) only adds to the stunning reminder of how incredible life is... how much beauty there is all around us all the time. I know there is also tragedy and not every birth experience is magical... but for today, I am thinking only of the beauty.

Ive been walking around all morning feeling so inspired and renewed and, well, powerful. I can make a person, I can grow a miracle, my body knows how to push that person into the world, and my body can sustain that person long after he has come into the world. All of this can happen without my brain having to think or reason or enable... I can do this in the most fundamental capacity. That is powerful. That is perspective.

I know I can do that, and I know my intellect is sharp on top of that ... I no longer doubt my ability to master all these roles I am playing. I just will do it, day by day... like my friend pushed that baby out last night moment by moment, like my mother mastered her many roles, year by year, without overthinking it or paralysis by over reasoning things.

I want to thank Jen for allowing me to witness those moments.